Reason 199

#199: The nerdy costumes and the high heel race

I absolutely, 100%, no question about it, hate Halloween. I am really jumpy and have a very, very active imagination. The combination of these two things makes going to the dentist sound appealing compared to watching horror movies. I would sooner let a first year dentistry student practice on me than I would sit through any of the Halloween movies. I think the last scary movie I saw was House of Wax. I can’t remember why I watched it or why I would put myself through the dual horror of a scary movie and Paris Hilton’s “acting”, but I did. And now I am scared that people’s faces will melt. I have nightmares about it.

Even though I hate Halloween overall, I do like Halloween in DC. I don’t like it THAT much, but at least I like it better than I like Halloween overall. My two favorite things about Halloween in DC are (1) the high heel race and (2) people’s nerdy costumes.

The High Heel race.

This person won the race in 2012 and 203 (Photo from WTOP)

This person won the race in 2012 and 203 (Photo from WTOP)

I don’t love but it is something you have to see at least once. It’s fun to hang out looking at 6-foot guys in 9-inch heels and a dress.

The nerdy costumes

DC-appropriate Halloween costume

DC-appropriate Halloween costume

For Halloween in DC it’s not enough to be a sluty _______ or a zombie _____, the way it would be at least common (if not alright) be a slutty ____ or a zombie _____ somewhere else. In DC you can’t just be “slutty nurse” you have to be “slutty Obamacare nurse” or “slutty ebola nurse” or “slutty[fill in the blank with something from the news] nurse.” You can even get rid of the “slutty” if you want, but you need that I-read-the-paper-today hook. Likewise, you would have to be “zombie Joe Biden” or “zombie lame duck Congress” or something like that. You could even get rid of the “zombie” part, but not the I-read-the-news part. I am probably not dressing up for Halloween this year but if I did, a friend suggested I go as “sexy Sonia Sotomayor” which is inappropiate on a million different levels, but also funny because well, nerdy is funny.


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