Reason 314

#314: I almost never have to drive anywhere. Thank god.

I originally posted this two days after I totaled my car in an accident. The accident happened in NE DC, about three minutes after driving out of the garage where they were fixing my car after it had been sideswipped while parked by a reporter from the Washington Post. All of this is true. It happened like this:

1- I parked my car on a side street close to my apartment. I did an expert job of parallel parking without hitting anything. I got out of the car and walked to work proud. (I had parked the car in a new spot to avoid being ticketed, I never actually drove to work.)

2- I come home and have to move the car again to another spot, because this was basically all I did with that car: move it from one parking spot to the other.

3- I see a big mean streak of black along the side of my beautiful blue car and a dent in the bumper. I think to myself: “I don’t remember hitting the car when I parked this morning. How did I do that? Wow. I really am a terrible driver.” Really. This is what I thought.

4- I notice a handwritten note on the windshield. “Sorry I hit your car. I did it to avoid a bigger accident. Please get in touch with me so I can give you my insurance information.” The note was signed and there was an email address “” I had never heard the name of the person, so I thought it was a joke.

5- I emailed the person the next day and it turned out that (1) it was a legitimate Washington Post reporter, (2) was an excellent person for leaving a note on my car, (3) really did give me the insurance information.

6- I contacted the insurance company. I got instructions to get my car fixed at some shady garage in NE DC. I took the car there.

7- I woke up early to go get the car out of the garage. I took the bus there. Saw that my car looked amazing. Saw the super large bill that the insurance company paid for and drove away.

8- Less than ten blocks later, I was trying to cross one of DC’s number streets when another car came down the street. I hit the other car on the driver-side door. I am pretty sure it’s not my fault. I stopped and looked before crossing but didn’t see the car.

9- Smoke came out of my car, I got out to see if the other people were ok (they were, but refused to talk to me and got like $50,000 from my insurance company.) Someone called 911. Police and firefighters came. I said my neck really hurt. An ambulance came. I started crying. It was a mess.

10- Police people and paramedics were consoling me while another ambulance took the other driver and her teenage daughter away. They said everything was going to be fine. They asked for my number so they could make sure I was alright.

11- I was taken to a hospital, found to be ok and released. I went right back to work for some reason.

12- The policeman and the paramedic texted to invite me to dinner. I declined. 

13- I contested the ticket I got from the accident and won because the policeman didn’t show up for the hearing. I was very happy.

14- Everything is fine and I no longer drive anywhere.



This is me the day I bought my car (the blue one on the left). I was probably calling my parents to tell them about it.


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